MIL Update

Sorry I know I said I was going to post some vacation pictures or have a fun post but unfortunately things aren't fun right now. My mother in law was put on hospice on Thursday. It has been rough few days. She was the best on Tuesday and was alert and tried to say a couple of words and we even had her belly laughing. Early Wednesday morning we received the call that they had to taken her back to ICU because her blood pressure dropped again. The problem is she still has sepsis (infection) even though she has been on strong IV antibiotics for over a week and the doctor also feels she has aspiration pneumonia and will continue to get this since she can no longer swallow. At this point my husband said basically she is a quadriplegic who can't speak. She can't move her legs or her arms not even a little. She can't for the most part speak at all and she can't swallow and this will not improve. It was a VERY hard decision for my husband especially since she is still alert. She can still blink for us but it is not 100% at this point. She knows we are all there. The good thing if there is one is that the hospital has an in patient hospice unit right in the hospital if a patient qualifies and by qualifying I mean has like 5-7 days to live. The doctor completely agreed which is good she doesn't have to go back to the nursing home. My husband and I said we would bring her home if we had to but I know my husband was very worried about this. The room is very nice. They have recliner chair and a sofa that is attached to the wall and pulls out into a twin bed. There are no set visiting hours and family can stay 24 hours if we want to. My husband stayed all night Thursday and we were there late last night but came home to sleep. They do have her off most of her regular medications and they stop the NG tube feedings as well as all antibiotics. They don't monitor vitals closely so if her blood pressure drops again they will just keep her comfortable. She is not in any pain and does know we are there. Her eyes lite up yesterday when she saw all the family that had flown in. I am so glad they are here. I don't know if I have mentioned before about my husband's grandmother turning 90. Well everyone agreed we should continue the party we had yesterday. My husband said his mom would have wanted us to continue. Everyone had a nice time under the circumstances. Family had flown in and grandma just started crying when she saw them. My husband's uncles is back in the hospital the same one as my MIL and so we kept the party pretty short and then all headed to the hospital. My husband's uncle is on the 1st floor and my MIL is on the second so family is just going between the floors to see them. We all don't expect things to be long with the current condition but only God knows when he is ready for her. I am at complete peace with her passing. I know she will be in heaven and will not be in pain or suffering any more. She will be with her husband who had passed when my husband was 2 and with her own father. I think that will be wonderful. My heart just breaks for my husband though. I think when he starts crying it makes me cry twice as hard. I just love him so much and hate to seem him so sad. He knows this is best for his mom but hates to lose her. Please send some prayers for husband and his grandmother. His poor grandmother has both of her children in the hospital who aren't doing well. And please send some prayers for my MIL Sandy that God will send his angels to lead her home when he is ready for her.

Linda

Happy Memorial Day!!!

Happy Memorial Day to you all!!!

Well besides spending time in the hospital with the MIL we have been trying to get some things done around the house this weekend. Plant flowers, paint etc. We will have to see how the week goes but in the fall of last year before my MIL's stroke we had planned a surprise birthday party for my husband's grandmother who will be 90 years old. This Friday is when it was scheduled and many family members are flying in. With the health of everyone right now we probably shouldn't have it but like my husband feels this my be the last time some family may get to see his mom and his uncle while they are here in town so the party is still on. Oh so much has happened since my last post. My husband's uncle (my MIL's brother) had a heart attach and was in the hospital. His heart is not good and only working at 30% of what it should be. My MIL is still in the hospital but out of ICU. My husband is VERY mad at the doctor right now. We got a voicemail from him on Saturday telling us he talked to her and she wants to die. You should have heard how callus his message was. We spent a lot of time with her yesterday and talked and asked her many questions. She is alert but can't speak. She will communicate through blinks which are mostly consistent but not always. Boy I can tell you through our conversations she at this point does not want to die and could tell she was very upset at the questions her doctor I guessed asked her while no family was in the room to interpret. My husband wants to fire him. The nerve of him. Well we feel very good at the conversation yesterday. Things with the MIL are still not good but stable at the moment. She is a fighter that is for sure. I feel so bad right now for my husband's grandmother. She is a 90 yr lady who is in much better shape than both her children. You would think she is in her 70's. She is healthy, very alert and still drives great!! Unfortunately it appears she may out live both her children. I know only God knows that but the pain she must be going through right now. I pray that she is able to handle all this. We hope seeing family on Friday will help her too. O.K. I promise my next posts will not be talking about all the bad stuff happening. I need something uplifting myself. I will show some pictures of vacation next time.

Have a great day and BIG thanks to all our armed forces for all that they do.

Linda

Back to ICU

Well it's been a rough few days. My mother in law has been in the hospital for over a week now and this past Friday spiked a fever of 103.1 and was admitted to ICU again. They had to put her on a ventilator and has been sedated pretty much the whole weekend. She had 10 yes I said 10 IV'S hung that they were giving her with fluids, antibiotics, insulin etc. They did take her off the ventilator today which is good but things are still not looking good. They have her on oxygen but she is not able to say anything or swallow right now. Tonight they did put in an NG tube which is a tube that goes in the nose and down to the stomach. They are not feeding her right now but needed to put it in to give her some of her medications that are not available in liquid form. She is still alert and even laughed at a couple things however it is a big, big weight on my husbands shoulders right now on what to do next. He is the power of attorney and so the doctors are asking him about things in case she would need the ventilator again or possibly a trach. It is so difficult. If she was in a coma, brain dead or 95 and had severe Alzheimers I think my husband could deal with these decisions not easier because it is all hard but he would know what his mom would want. But when she is still 100% alert only 68 years old but just can't speak or write it is so difficulty. He knows his mothers wishes are not to be kept alive on machines however some of these machines have been used temporarily and have saved her life. What do you do? He is trying so hard to make the right decisions and hopefully she will continue to improve so some of these bigger issues the doctor brought up he won't have to be deal with right now. Before I sign off tonight and go to bed I would like to encourage all of you no matter what your age is to have a discussion with your family about your wishes. Anyone of us could end up needing life saving measures no matter our age and have you discussed with your loved ones what you would want done? Have you assigned a Health Care Power of Attorney to carry out your wishes when that difficult time would come? No none of us want to think about this but trust me talk about it now your family will happy you did. Believe me my mother in law did talk about it, has it all in the Power of Attorney and her Living Will but even with that you can never discuss every issue that would come up. Just don't be one of the families that a tragedy happens and you have to say "I don't know what they would want we never talked about it"

My husband and I would like to thank all of you so much for your kind words and prayers. It means so much to us and my mother in law. She really needs prayers. She is in God's hands right now.

Linda

More bad news

My mother in law is back in the hospital. We went to Michigan Saturday morning and Saturday evening we got the call from the doctor that he was admitting her again. Because it was late my husband wanted to wait until Sunday morning to drive back so we were very lucky that his aunt could be with her at the hospital when she was admitted. We don't really know what is going on. The stroke in December affected her right side and now she is having left sided problems and some type of spasms in her left arm and hand that are causing her a lot of pain. They have her on lots of pain killers and muscle relaxers. This has seemed to ease the pain some. She is not speaking and really not eating or drinking hardly anything so we don't know if she has had another stroke or not. They are supposed to do an MRI tonight. They attempted an MRI last night but when they layed her flat she had difficulty breathing and had to stop. They were going to be giving her breathing treatments today so we hope she is able to get through the MRI tonight. I have been sick and home from work the last 2 days so I haven't gone up to the hospital the last 2 days. That is the last thing she needs is to get more sick on top of it. It is not looking good right now. My poor husband is just beside himself. He doesn't want to see his mother like this. She is only 68yrs old and is suffering so much. I just pray that God watches over her and my husband. I will blog when I can but things are a bit difficult right now.

Linda

Back from Vacation!!

Hi all,

We are back from vacation and had a great time!! The weather was wonderful. More on the trip later. Not much time to blog this week. I just feel like I am running, running, running this week. Work has been extremely busy and have been working late, yesterday was my husbands birthday and then when we came back from our trip my mother in law has declined again. Lots going on with that. I will try to blog more next week. I wish you all a Very Happy Mother's Day!! We are heading to Michigan on Saturday to see my mom for Mother's Day.

Talk with you all later.

Linda